The origins of the Master, and some practical guidance on exercises of the mind.

The Master is all-seeing.

So it came to pass some time past that he saw several of his disciples discussing him after a vigorous session on the road, where they had ventured from the black of early morning to the black of pain and despair to the black of coffee. The Master is no stranger to ergogenic substances, and he does insist on his disciples being clean according to the WADA code. Thus, he was happy to see his disciples imbibing happily.

He also ventures to suggest that coffee aids the meditative process. There must be some correlation to Mr. Ginn’s unusual intake of coffee and his meditation and insights. Perhaps it is not a matter of needing a quiet mind to achieve insights. The Master may be all seeing, but at times he is not all-knowing.

Especially when it comes to interpreting Mr. Ginn.

Nonetheless, Messrs. Ginn and Free were pondering where the Master had come from, what caused him to take the form that he does, and what caused him to manifest himself and aid them in particular. Did not, they asked, the Korean team need his help. The Master notes that the Korean rowing team needs more help than even he could provide.

So he chose to manifest himself to those who would gain from his actions and learnings. The Master’s history is a long one, from deep in the mists of time and mysticism and the Korean mountain plateaus. It is a story of a warrior who renounced the glory of all his country could offer him after a lifetime of achievement and valour, and chose to devote himself to a life of meditation, insight, and pushing back the boundaries of human performance.

And groupies. Definitely groupies.

The Master pursued his philosophies by spending months in the snow outside his cosy retreat, disdaining even clothes, and refining his philosophy to several crucial elements: the achievement of purification through pain; the need to perfect the body through sessions in the temple of steel; and the need to hang shit on PHC whenever possible.

Through this process, the Master developed his mind to a point where it was not necessary, or even possible, for his disciples to search for him or see him in the flesh. They would be struck dumb by his voice, and blinded by his presence.

Although he has been a warrior and a philosopher, the Master is above politics. He does not believe in boycotts, especially those of the Olympics. He is a man who is at home in a monastery, and feels for his Tibetan brethren, but sees a competition of the body as no place for governments to interfere in. If there is a war, the Master will be there in the front line, but sport is above it. After all, the Master’s country was invaded by the Chinese, and you don’t see him advocating for a boycott.

It is a little known fact that the Master is responsible for achieving a de-militarised zone in Korea.

It is a lesser known fact that the Master is not responsible for that dingbat president-for-life in Pyongyang and his taste in fashion and music. There are times that the Master wishes he was all-powerful.

The Master sees you read: and he knows that you are illuminated by his guidance, but also questioning how this guidance helps you. It behoves you to be patient, devotee. You will gain from understanding the context from which the Master developed his philosophies, and an understanding of the pain endured for these philosophies.

As the Buddha meditated overnight under a tree in a temperate India and resolved not to get up until the mysteries were revealed to him, the Master meditated in snow and ice and inhospitability until the mysteries of power of the mind and body, greater than those revealed to the Buddha, were revealed to him. The Master suggests that tonight you emulate him. He also suggests that the Buddha may have needed that can of HTFU that was sitting in the fridge. Behind the salad dressing.

The Master suggests that you search for insight by ice. The Master’s prescription is this: Obtain a large amount of ice, and tip into your bath (the master suggests that you do not do this in your garden: it does make the dust sticky). Then the Master suggests that you sit in the bath until you have achieved a peak of pain akin to your racing performance. He bans the use of water in this bath. Ice Only! Then meditate upon pain and clarity. Thus, you will have achieved something. You will know what it is to suffer like the Master. You will know more about the suffering needed to be great.

The Master is not responsible, however, for your lack of control over your body, which may lead to haemorrhoids and blisters.

But if you suffer these disorders, it indicates to the Master that your spiritual path is one that will be a long one, one which you have barely started. But you will gain in performance and knowledge from this experience. The Master recognises greatness in others. The Master does not recognise it in you yet, but in Nietzsche: “That which does not destroy us, makes us stronger”. It worked for the Master. It is working for Messrs. Ginn and Free. It is working for a growing army of devotees.

The philosophy of the Master will work for you.